Growing up, I was a follower. Still am in a way. I like to keep the peace, I’m up for whatever, and I enjoy pleasing people. As a kid, these attributes were more like curses because of the scenarios that unfolded.
My best friend loves roller coasters, almost as much as she loved trying to convince me to ride them. When she asked, my stomach would crawl up into my throat. I remember the feelings that welled up inside me just as keenly as if it had happened two minutes ago.
We would be standing in a loose group, a few of us talking about what to ride next. I had already been all the rides that were bordeline kiddie types and was completely satisfied. My friends, however, were already getting excited as they talked about riding the roller coaster next. I smiled politely and listened, turning the idea of going with them over in my mind. Meh, who knows? Maybe this time would be different. Maybe I wouldn’t be screaming my head off, fearing for my life, and praying to the merciful God in heaven to not let the track break and my body be shattered to a million pieces.
That thought alone settled my resolve.
NOT HAPPENING.
The events proceeded as they usually did. I would decided to walk with everyone and eventually my best friend would ask me if I was going to ride the beast with her. I would decline and she’d drop the line on that I eventually started dreading. “If you don’t go, you”ll regret it and wish you had.” Ughhhhh.
So I would get in line. I would sit down in the cart. The loud CLANK of the bar would rattle me out of my desicion but before I could jump out of that cart and run screaming, we would jerk forward and I would literally want my mother. No lie. As we were jerked around, up, under and in between, I would once again be screaming in fear, wishing it was over, and apparently creating some terrifying faces that they park camera would capture.
When we rolled to a stop, my and my disheveled self would swear…NEVER AGAIN.
I get carried away in story telling at times but this was needed. There are certain things that happened that triggered my decision to riding that roller coaster. Looking back, I realize I have identified those triggers and can now avoid roller coaster no matter what anyone says. I have done this so well that when a group of friends plan a trip to any amusemet park, they don’t even bother mentioning it to me. Thus, I am left safe, happy and not worrying about being the next stain on the pavement.
It’s the same with food. I have had to identify my triggers. There are things that are bad for me that I can eat and not enjoy at all.
On the flip side, there are items that I can consume that make me want to pay exorbitant amounts money to get, thus starting the roller coaster ride of binge eating. Then of course, guilt, regret and anger always follow.
When you are on that roller coaster ride, the quickest way to get off is to never get on. You don’t get on by knowing what to avoid.
Here are some things I identified as triggers.
Pizza. I LOVE pizza. But it was easy. Don’t buy it.
Sugar, soda and other processed foods were also fairly easy to part with.
My triggers were ‘healthy’ snacks. White cheddar popcorn. Whole wheat pasta. Reduced fat Cheezits. Cheddar rice cakes. Oikos frozen yogurt. Are all of these things bad? Maybe not for the masses but I had to be firm against them.
Why? They triggered other cravings in my body! I found out the starch and the sugar and the yeast in these products made my body crave things that were unhealthy. Whether I like it or not, I have to be strict in my food decisions if I want to be successful in my fit journey.
Just as I identified the moments in which I had to say no to avoid the near-death experience people call roller coasters, I have to know the food items that trip me up and cause me to stumble. If not, that cycle will never end. I have to be realistic with myself about things that can trigger cravings.
Could I ever get to a place where I can add these things back?
I could.
Will I?
Probably not.
Will I ever get to a place where I enjoy roller coasters?
Absolutely NOT.
cbettylicious 